Who said this was MY year??

That's a good question. It was a magazine. More specifically, it was a very large astrology section in not one, not two, but three magazines I was browsing through in December 2006, while getting a hair trim. They all unanimously declared that 2007 would be a fantastic year for a person with the astrology sign of Sagittarius, an A blood-type, and born in the year of the boar. Yes, yes, and yes - that would be ME.

It was indeed a good start; I'll admit that much. The 'reach'-school offer of admission, visiting then-boyfriend, more graduate school acceptances, and a really fun job. But, it didn't last very long. Acceptance was great but this meant I would be $20G in debt. What I thought was a very nice, reasonable, fun relationship ended with my heart shredded by a meat-mincer called MSN. The really fun job ended (just an end of a contract, actually) and was followed by a final tax deduction.

I'm not done yet.

Thanks to my friend Reina, I have a pseudo part-time job that keeps me occupied in the early morning hours. It's great; I like waking up early and getting the day started. I spend a good 3 hours at the gym in the afternoons, taking two yoga classes and spending 40 minutes on this uber-high tech treadmill complete with a TV screen, a headphone, and cable channels (that includes MTV but unfortunately no Grey's Anatomy episodes). But the thought of the British Embassy taking $250 from me to issue my student visa, and the reminder that I'll be $20G in debt by the end of 2008 linger perpetually at the back of my head. Actually, these weren't just thoughts; they were a gunpoint at the back of my head. So, I gathered all the self-motivational energy I could muster up in me and applied for short-term, easy jobs.

My first attempt ended in a pathetic, anti-climatic poof. The company was looking for temporary waitresses to work at major hotels in Tokyo. They advertised that short-term applications were happily welcomed. I applied, went in for an interview, and was told that I would receive a call the next day from the hotel I would be working at. The next day went by, the second day went by, and there was no call. I called the temp agency to inquire, and the response I got was a pathetic excuse: "Oh, uhh... umm.. I'm sorry, there's been some communication difficulties with the hotels.. it's just that.. well, you know.. you've applied for a short-term position and they don't want someone short-term." And I thought I read they welcomed short-term applications??

My second attempt ended with an incredulous statement. If it were only permitted, it would've ended in a huge laughter of ridicule from me. This was yet another temp agency that was looking for short-term applicants. I arrived a little early for my interview at a random apartment flat-turned-office in Omotesando (in hindsight, slightly sketchy), and was invited in because the person scheduled before me was late. The interview was fine until the very end, when the interviewer - a man in his late thirties, who had, until then, been speaking as if his most adorable pet iguana had died that morning because his cat ate it (or something) - suddenly changed his tone to a condescending one. I didn't remember giving him any reason to feel that superior to me, but nonetheless, he started suggesting that I improve my interview skills. I thought, "Sure, I'm up for self-improvement," and in the next moment, he said (in Japanese, of course) "You've got your shit together," BUT in the most negative tone possible. He said that I was such a responsibly organized person but said it in such a way that implied its inappropriateness. This blew me away. It wasn't that I was 'too serious' (a very common criticism that flies my way), but that I was somehow 'too responsible'. "I mean, you can't just be a brainless goof-ball either, you know? But yeah, you certainly have things together in your life." And what, I shouldn't?

My third attempt was a lot more straightforward. I applied for a job that would call people up to ask where they stood in terms of the upcoming (and delayed) election. The interview consisted of a verbal component, and a 'technical' component where you were tested for your kanji-reading and math calculation abilities, and for your common sense. I kind of understood the objective for a kanji-reading section and a math section; I suppose they don't want to be hiring pea-brained idiots for the job. But, why they needed us reading kanji vocabulary that we would never use (and that an average, Japanese person could not read) on a 4-day, basically telemarketing job, was beyond me.

The more interesting part of the 'technical' component was, of course, this 'common sense' test. How do you test one's common sense? Easy - just like any other test: multiple choice. One question had the following prompt:

5. You and your co-worker have plans to dine together after work. However, you finish your job earlier. What do you do?

a. Finishing your job early was your own effort, so you sit at your desk and read a magazine until your co-worker finishes.
b. You leave the office and wait somewhere else.
c. You leave the office area and wait in the break room.
d. You help your co-worker finish his/her job.
e. You talk to the boss and ask to let your co-worker leave early.

Does it really make a difference between waiting "somewhere else" and waiting "in the break room"? I mean, there probably isn't one 'right' answer to these multiple choice questions, and the quiz was probably made more to gauge one's relative sense of the common, but still. Wouldn't a few more questions during the 'vocal' interview part suffice? And really, is an acute level of common sense all that necessary for a 4-day, temporary, short-term, telemarketing job? Despite the online test having a typing section - which I would deem far more relevant - we did not end up taking that part of the test. Why??

The fact that I probably failed the kanji-reading portion of the interview foreshadows my most imminent unemployment (I find out on an online portal on saturday morning - kind of like finding out whether I got accepted to school). The cherry-on-top occurred today at the UK Embassy. I submitted my application for my student UK visa, and they took $250. I received my passport back with the visa printed inside it today, only to find out that they've printed my passport number erroneously on it. Now I have to send it back to them so they can re-issue me a visa. STUPID EMBASSY!!!! What the hell did I pay $250 for?

So as far as I am concerned, the magazines and their astrological predictions lied. 2007 isn't my year. I mean, it's an okay year. But it's not a great year and no where near fantastic. At this rate of luck, I could very well die in Peru, perhaps in the face of a real gunpoint. Now, that would make too much sense.